Lunch Break Reads: Hollywood Reboots, Meredith Graves, the Sky Loves the USA, U2's Free Album Woes, Dazed and Confused's Spiritual Sequel, Terrible People, and NFL Players with Dickensian Names / by Lars Garvey Laing-Peterson

If you needed any more proof that Hollywood would rather rehash old ideas than take a chance on new ones,  I Know What You Did Last Summer is getting rebooted. And so is Scream, as an MTV show. 

Guess that '90s nostalgia train has finally hit full steam.

More at The Verge.

Unfortunately, I’ve met more of those boys since then. They’re the pretentious boys who, when they meet a girl who likes metal, only find it fair to insist she recite the Slayer discography in reverse chronological order. If she likes comic books, she has to know every character’s origin stories as well as subsequent changes and how they correspond to different decades and illustrators. The same boys who, a year later, when I was 15 years old, still on dial-up and not yet part of the world, scoffed when they found out I had never heard of a website called Pitchfork. They were 18 and I was just young and stupid, I clearly wasn’t a real music fan. The ridicule and questioning were constant.

Meredith Graves' essay over at The Talkhouse is intriguing and should be read, if only because Graves so effortlessly points out how quickly many men challenge a female music/comic book/film/etc. fan's knowledge in order to see if she in "a true fan" (or if she is just doing it for attention), to see if she is "authentic," and how many fewer hoops men have to jump to prove their authenticity.

If you wanted to know if the sky loves America as much as Glenn Beck, it does.

More at Neatorama.

If like Tyler, the Creator, you were unhappy to get a free U2 album, Apple is going to show you how to delete it permanently from your iTunes.

Because, you know, in a world where Ukraine is worried about being invaded by Russia, where America is once again bombing Iraq, where ebola is rampaging through Africa, and generally things seem to be getting shittier and shittier on some pretty serious levels, being upset about a free U2 album is definitely something that matters.

More at Pitchfork.

Richard Linklater's been talking about it for a while, but looks like there may be some traction on the spiritual sequel to the wonderful Dazed and Confused. Set in the 1980s, That's What I'm Talking About focuses on a young man starting college... and joining a fraternity. Wait, what?


Guess it's safe to say that this film isn't getting the praise being heaped upon Boyhood anytime soon.

More at FilmDrunk.

And now for a new segment of Lunch Break Reads: Terrible, Terrible People.

In a move that surprises no one, BuzzFeed reports that Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson thinks diseases like AIDS and the like are punishments from God for "immoral behavior." What a classy, original dude. (He does know his ridiculously offensive ideas aren't even that unique, right, and as such is only further underscoring his ignorance and lack of a human soul?)

According to The A.V. Club, Robin Thicke doesn't think he can be held responsible legally for "Blurred Lines" because he was stoned, and, like, man, you've got to understand, it was all Pharrell. 

The NFL isn't the only major sporting institution in the midst of some shit right now. FIFA—albeit in a less violent, more "white collar crime" kind of way—is getting in on some of the action. World Soccer reports that a member of FIFA's financial watchdog organization has been arrested for, yep, money laundering. Oh, and corruption. Almost forgot that one, as it seems to be a prerequisite for any serious job at FIFA. Looking forward to Qatar! Woo!

In order to end on a semi-related, yet high note, here is an old, but wonderful McSweeny's piece on NFL players who names sound "vaguely Dickensian," and a brief write up of the characters they could possibly play in a Dickens novel.

A favorite:

Jeremy Trueblood
Ward and protégé of the kindly Magistrate Petitgout, he is forced to flee London when Petitgout’s sworn enemy, Lord Albright, falsely implicates him in a shady land deal so complicated Dickens eventually gives up trying and changes the crime to attempted arson, midnovel, without explanation. Marries Jenny Applegate.