Lunch Break Reads: The Hateful Eight, 8-Bit 5th Element, Powdered Booze, BART Conspiring with the Seahawks, and more! / by Lars Garvey Laing-Peterson

According to The Dissolve, Quentin Tarantino's The Hateful Eight may still find life on the silver screen. During what appears to have been a successful and star-studded live reading of the first draft of the script, which The Guardian called "reminiscent of Reservoir Dogs," Tarantino told the audience that he would work on a second and third draft of the screenplay (including a total rewrite of the final section being performed that night), which would seem like a silly use of time were he not hoping to do something with this final draft. As long as Walton Goggins (The ShieldJustifiedDjango Unchained) remains attached to the project, I'm very intrigued.

CineFix added another title to their growing "8-Bit Cinema" catalogue, and the most recent entry is one of my favorite sci-fi films: the wonderfully, perhaps ridiculously, extravagant The Fifth Element

If you were hoping to be the first of your friends to post a YouTube video of yourself snorting powdered alcohol off a mirror and then shouting some quote from Scarface, you'll have to wait a little longer. NPR is reporting that Palcohol (yeah, seriously, like "your pal alcohol" or some shit) is facing "months, maybe years, of legal hurdles [...] before the product reaches liquor stores."

Hey, I know you're disappointed, but take a page from Tarantino's book and use this time to really flesh out the scene with your collaborators. With a little luck and finesse, you may get Palcohol recalled quicker than the original Four Loko formula, and you'll rack up comments like, "U R the raeson we cant have nice thiings" (sic) and "What's the point in even being alive?"

And now for a tragic story that hits close to my heart...

The Bay Area Rapid Transit, better known as BART to the residents of San Francisco, recently redesigned their train cars, and this shit happened:

If you don't waste massive chunks your life obsessing over Pro Football, or if you do but your team is not in the NFC West, you may not notice at first that the colors are strikingly similar to those of the San Francisco 49ers' bitter rivals the Seattle Seahawks, but a number of people in San Francisco have—and they are not happy. There is even a petition asking BART to refrain from using these colors.

Where some news networks only want to share their bemusement in the face of this catastrophic fiasco, CBS Sports is asking the tough questions:

Was this an accidental mistake or a conspiracy at the highest levels of BART?

Probably the first one, but it's worth noting that BART general manager Grace Crunican was the Director of Seattle's Department of Transportation before taking the BART job in 2011.

And I bet we know who was instrumental in getting Crunican that transfer, don't we? Well played, Richard Sherman. Well played.

And finally for the News Roundup:

Having recently returned from Hawaii, I completely understand the idea of stowing away on an airplane bound for those beautiful islands, but seriously... what the hell? According to the New York Times, the 16-year-old who ran away from his California home, stowed away in the wheel well of a damn plane, lost consciousness due to the extreme cold (80 degrees below zero) and thin air available at 38,000 feet, and somehow managed not to die when the plane touched down again (either from falling out of the plane when the wheels came out or from the impact of the landing), "beat long odds." Really? No shit. Great reporting there, NYT. Oh, also... not sure how Homeland Security is going to feel about you reporting that breaking into an airport and gaining unfettered access to a plane "is not all that difficult."

While the Times may not have done their best work on the story above, they did let me know that if one of my student loan co-signers dies I may be responsible for paying the remaining debt on a vastly accelerated schedule. Nice to know that they've discovered yet another way to screw over young people struggling under the weight of debt from hugely overpriced universities. Hope whoever came up with that clause is up for a Nobel this year.

Interested in writing a sci-fi novel? Well nerd, io9 and Max Barry are here to help.

Depressed? The Atlantic thinks you should live more meaningfully.

Salon reports that a Saudi prince went on protected animal killing spree, snuffing the life from 2,100 birds from vulnerable species in 21 days. Yes, your math is correct. That is 100 protected bird murders a day for three weeks straight.

The Atlantic reports that the Greeks really know how to celebrate Easter. Their secret? Firing rockets from one church at another church, of course!

And in case all that bird murder got you down, here is Brian Williams "rapping" along to "Gin and Juice," courtesy of Jimmy Fallon.