Lunch Break Reads: An Internet Glossary, the Saddest Tweet, Cheeseburger Donuts, VKontakte (Finally) Steps In and Ends "Miss Hitler" Pageant, & Kirk Cameron Has No Idea What Halloween Is / by Lars Garvey Laing-Peterson

The Toast breaks down some internet vernacular. It is beautiful.

Some choice picks:

shots fired = I have never heard a gun go off in real life; here is a mildly provocative article about food
#truedetectiveseason2 = I too long for human companionship

A group of people somewhere decided that Burger King should, too, get in on meme Twitter, but as this was run up the flagpole they couldn't get past one tangled knot: Arbitrary Corporate Proper Nouns. So, the result: a billion dollar company using social media to sound like a 19-year-old, but unable to get itself to de-capitalize the phrase "chicken strips."
The future is garbage.

I'm not sure what to make of this... Is it a good thing, a terrible thing, the worst thing ever?

Yes, that is a cheeseburger stuffed inside a donut, covered in bacon. More at Foodbeast.

Vocativ ran a story a few days ago about—and no, I'm not shitting you—a "Miss Hitler" beauty pageant that was being run on Russia's equivalent to Facebook, VKontakte. The pageant has since been canceled, I'm sure to the dismay of the ignorant, hateful people that were in any way involved.

Despite the pageant being canceled, the fact that such a thing was even a reality and that an "Adolph Hitler" page on VKontakte could boast more than 7,000 followers does not bode well for the future of humanity. Worse, Vocativ reports that VKontakte hosts more than 300 pro-Nazi groups, each with anywhere from 5,000-30,000 followers... 

Maybe Gawker is right. The future is garbage.

If you wanted to feel even worse about the collective fate of humankind, Kirk Cameron has urged other misguided Christians not only to embrace Halloween because the pagans stole the holiday from Catholics (which is, in fact, completely incorrect), but to wear awful Obama masks to poke fun at the man because "Christians would dress up in costumes as the devil, ghosts, goblins and witches precisely to make the point that those things were defeated and overthrown by the resurrected Jesus Christ.”

Just unpack that sentiment for a moment. Let it sink in.

Yep, it's another glorious day for humanity.

More at Raw Story.